| a collection over the months. |
[16 Jun 2004|11:01am] |
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here this |
feel this |
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 high |
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here this |
feel this |
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techno music |
] |
these aren't in the order of when things happened. and they're all to different people.
Dear Charlie,
I know I promised I would never become a stupid drugged up burnout. I think I'm on my way, though. I'm sorry.
Dear Charlie,
I wish you weren't leaving. what the hell is in Colorado? I wish I could have been a better friend. And I wish i didn't have to say goodbye. I love you so much.
Dear Charlie,
You don't understand. I wasn't a victim. So what if he was five years older than me. It was MY choice and I can deal with MY decisions. In no way shape or form was it rape. It wasn't even his idea, it was mine. So you can speak your mind on your own time, because it's just nonsense.
Dear Charlie,
I'm sorry I caused that problem. I'm sorry it drove you back to your old habits. I shouldn't have done that. I really shouldn't have.
Dear Charlie,
I'm glad I make you happy. I'm glad we are together. I hope it lasts.
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| &2 |
[27 Feb 2004|07:34pm] |
| [ |
here this |
feel this |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
here this |
feel this |
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Carnival by The Cardigans |
] |
Dear Charlie,
Why can't you be here? I need you so badly. I'm just an emotional wreck. Come back to me and make everything better.. please, Charlie, I swear I won't ignore you ever again. I swear, I'll do whatever you want, fulfill your every whim. All those nights I could have spent with you that I spent giving yout he silent treatment or just yelling at you feel so wasted and stupid. I'm different now. I'm mature and actually intelligent. Not just a little girl you have to preach to. I'm sensible. I'll be sensible, I swear. After you stopped showing up, a part of me died. The young little kid romantic in me broke into a million peices, and left in its scattered remains a callused human being. I'm so sorry for all those wasted nights. If I knew it wouldn't last forever, I would have spent every second being the best to you.
god charlie, just come back.
Charlotte.
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| &2 |
[22 Feb 2004|05:35pm] |
| [ |
here this |
feel this |
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 contemplative |
] |
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here this |
feel this |
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don't know when but a day is gonna come by bright eyes |
] |
Dear Charlie,
Today i got "healed" at church. It's a special sermon where father rock puts oil on your forehead and you tell him what's bothering you and then you pray with him. I was so scared and so nervous. I really didn't know what to say. I almost started crying. I'm so weak.
But all I could think about was you and you don't let shit bother you like i do.
I admire you....
I LOVE you still,
Charlotte
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| &1 |
[21 Feb 2004|09:42am] |
| [ |
here this |
feel this |
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 apathetic |
] |
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here this |
feel this |
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dammit by blink |
] |
Dear Charlie*,
It has been so long. We used to talk every single day, and now it's cut to a simple "hi" every once in a while. I'm so sorry that we have drifted. who knew it was as simple as that? All I want is for it to be like it used to with you waiting at my locker. you have new friends, though, as do i. Have we just run out of things to say to each other? Or have we run out of each other's grasp? I guess we'll never know.
i'm so sorry.
sincerely,
Char
*all names will be charlie in order to keep privacy.
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